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Mindbarf
So I haven’t posted anything worthwhile in a long time. The spiritual walk has been a tough one lately, and mostly thanks to my own faults. Anyway, here are some things that have been pressing on my mind lately.
1. Reading Christian books and not reading the Bible is like working out and taking protein supplements but not eating any actual food or meals.
Lately I have been picking up some books again, which is a good thing. I have a few that I am about halfway or further done with that I am starting to read again. But I have been reading these books and I haven’t been doing my devotionals or quiet times. This is just dumb. I’ve been reading these books about improving yourself and your relationship with God, but I haven’t been actually conversing with God. Pretty pointless if you ask me. So I’m gonna fix that.
2. Finding our identity in Christ is key.
Last Thursday at CCM we had Pastor Alex speak, and he mentioned something about four major idols in our life: power, control, comfort, and approval. Then just yesterday we had a Junior meeting and we discussed which one we thought was the biggest in our lives, and how we could practically improve on it. I said mine was approval, and that I should find my identity in Christ rather than seeking approval from other people. Then the more I thought about it I realized that finding our identity in Christ would tackle each of these idols.
Christ didn’t succumb to the temptation of having power and respect. Satan tempted him in the wilderness, and even though Jesus was God himself he resisted the temptation to show off his glory and authority. Even though Jesus was God, he humbled himself and became a man.
Christ did pray and ask God to take the burden away from him when he was in the garden of Gethsemane. But ultimately he did not fight God’s will for his life. He didn’t take control and go the other way. He didn’t fight with his Father for control over his life, he left it in God’s hands.
Christ didn’t stay a carpenter his whole life. In fact, the word “stay” doesn’t seem to relate to Jesus at all. He never stayed anywhere. He was always traveling and teaching God’s ways and fulfilling God’s will for his life. He didn’t even stay in the grave! He was never staying in his comfort zone, he was always moving along on God’s path for his life.
Christ didn’t seek everyone’s approval. He pissed off PLENTY of people. But he knew that he was doing right in God’s eyes, just like we should be focusing on.
3. Accountability is key.
God knows we can’t do it alone. He puts people in our lives for a reason. Ask them to be there for you, and be there for them. The church is a body that should be unified and utilized.
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Staying desperate for You God
Staying humbled at Your feet
I will lift these hands and praise, I will believe
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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]I’m so far away
From the only place I know I should be
Find me, take me
Come like the day, come chase away this darkness
I’ve been living here so long and I give up
Come wash away everything I’ve built between us
And I will sing unending songs of Your love
I cannot find rest
I can’t catch my breath from running away
So stop me and take me
Come like the day, come chase away this darkness
I’ve been living here so long and I give up
Come wash away everything I’ve built between us
And I will sing unending songs of Your love
Your love has stolen my heart, Your love has set me apart
Your love is life in my veins and all my mistakes fade away
So find me, and stop me, and take me, and save me
Come like the day, come chase away this darkness
I’ve been living here so long and I give up
Come wash away everything I’ve built between us
And I will sing unending songs of Your love
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Second verse:
“You gotta understand I never asked for this position.
Sword is getting heavy and it seems like no one listens.
Cuts my own flesh but you see I give it more.
My soul is in a state of like a moral civil war.
And as I keep on growing so does the army of hate.
Who wait for every slip and reason just to call me fake.
To the panel of judges: I admit I can’t handle you.
I just hope with every fall I just become more tangible.
I’m another boy, another son, another man.
I failed yesterday and will fail today again.
I repeat this, to everybody who doesn’t get it.
If I’m not Lyricks then why give me the credit.
I don’t want your props or your daps for my flows.
I just hope my raps will just act as sign posts.
I know I’m not as flashy or as attractive.
But at the end of the day, it’s what my tracks did.
Did I show you life or rap about death?
Just to be in light did I sacrifice breath?
For the riches of the world, did I compromise love?
For the beauty of her face, what did I give up?
Of course there are times i just wish that I was free.
Just to live in today’s definition of free.
Want to be rebellious, reppin up my fist.
My life would be easy so believing You don’t exist.
But I’ve been scarred in my mind for real.
Every time I try to look away, I remember You’re real.
Every time I look away, I start feeling the chills.
Lying to myself, what I feel isn’t real.
I don’t want to rap about You anymore.
Many of them think I’m using You because I’m bored.
Many of them think I’m using You just to appeal.
I’m just asking then, if I don’t remind them, who will”
So many times in life, I really feel like just giving up. This life that we are called to as Christians is tough as it is, and then things continue to come up along the path making it even more difficult. Sometimes I wish that I didn’t know God. Sometimes I look at people who aren’t Christians and I honestly think to myself, “Ignorance must be bliss.” There are times when I want to feel the way they feel, deal with life the way that they deal with it. I don’t want to be responsible for my actions in the end, I want to react the way that I feel inside even though often it would go against what God commands us. I wish there was an easier escape than having to face my problems head on with God.
And sometimes I will cast aside my beliefs and live in this way. And for the moment it feels like exactly what I’ve wanted. Living without thinking about consequences. Living just to make myself happy. Living as if there is no eternity.
But somewhere along the way, I can’t shake this thought that I’m wasting away my life. I can’t walk away from God, I really have been scarred in my mind. I can’t forget what He did for me, the way he saved me when I was completely rebellious towards Him. The way He accepted me into His family. The way that He is still willing to accept me after all the crap I’ve done. And realizing this doesn’t make things any easier, but it leaves me stuck in between an easy life I know is wrong and doesn’t truly satisfy and a life that is the hardest path to choose, but the only right one.
And this leaves me more frustrated than anything, because I know that the hardships and the pain that I face are things that are supposed to sharpen me as a person, as a man. But I’m so damn sick of this crap. And I know that this has turned into the venting of a little child, but this is how I honestly feel. Honestly, I wish I wasn’t such a baby; I wish I was stronger than I am.
I guess in the end my prayer is that God can help me go through the fire so I can be more of a man. I know that He has good things in store for me in this life and in Heaven, and I just pray I can be faithful until then.
Link reblogged from BREW with 62 notes
BREW: Tough Questions →
Some thoughts on love and relationships as I reflect and pray for those seeking love and relationships.
Aloneness /
Just because you are alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. There is a season for everything and if you’re single take advantage of this time, embrace it instead of trying to run from it.
Question to Ask Yourself /
What am I suppose to do in this season while still alone?
Love, Like, and Lists /
I personally don’t agree with the whole “What I Want in My Guy/Girl Prayer List”. I think it should be called, a Lust List. Here’s why. If God answers your list you will get everything you’ve wished for thereby making the relationship solely based on your likes. However, Love is often experienced where dislikes abound. Actually, I would make the case that Love is best experienced when dislikes, discomfort, sacrifice, are present.
Anyone can “love” when things go there way, meet their needs, align with their desires.
Love is a commitment to the person, Like is a commitment to yourself. Love covers “sins” or mistakes, dislikes, annoyances. “Like” has no room for error, mistakes, disagreements.
We all wish to be loved, however we often give only “like”.
I wonder how many of us would think about writing a list for own selves to be a good partner for someone else. Instead of writing a list about a person, why not write all the things we wish to improve or prepare in ourselves for the benefit and the pleasure of the other.
For instance, instead of writing, “God I want an ambitious man.” We write, “I’ll seek to grow in passion and vision in all the things God has already shown me to do.” Instead of writing, “I want a wealthy man or woman” we may write, “I’ll get rid of all my debt so that when I meet my partner we can start life fresh and new…”
How about we do for others, or our significant other, what we wish for ourselves.
{I’m not saying you shouldn’t have desires or wants. But scripture is very clear when it says that God knows what you want even before you ask for it. Actually, it says that he desires to give above and beyond your wildest imaginations. He likes to surprise and bless beyond measure. Do you trust him with your desires and wants?}
Question to Ask Yourself /
Would you date someone like you? Do you have qualities you seek in others? How can you grow and prepare to be a blessing to someone?
The Tough Question /
People ask, “do you think I’m ready to date?” or “do you think I’m ready to marry?”…
I often reply with a question right back,
“Would you let your daughter/son date someone like you?”
Think about it. Imagine if you had a grown daughter or son and they brought home someone like you. Would you be happy for your grown child? Did he/she make a good decision? {If you can’t say a confident “yes” and you find yourself building a case for yourself… well you should be working on yourself right now then. Every area you find yourself excusing is the very area in need of work.}
What advice would you give your kid about someone like you?!
I think that’s enough to chew on for now. On this Valentine’s Day, I urge you to Ask yourself some real questions.
Love you!
/ bryan
Someday, I’ll write a little more on “Healthy Dating Practices”.
Source: bryansbrew
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Don’t Look Back
I was doing my QT today, and God gave me a revelation when it comes to resisting the temptation to sin.
I was praying and I said something along the lines of, “When there is temptation to sin, help me to walk to you, nay, run to you without looking back.” (Yes, I really did say “nay”)
And I said this last part because instantly after I said the first part I was reminded of when God saved Lot and his family from being torched with the sinful cities Sodom and Gomorrah. When they were fleeing, the Lord told them not to look back, but to run forward to where He promised them salvation from this fiery end. Lot’s wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt.
And I feel that it is EXACTLY the same with temptations of sin. God has called us out of that life, and he is trying to help us when he says, “Run and do not look back!” If we don’t run away from them, and if we dare to look back at them, oh man we’re pretty much screwed already. I know that’s how it is for me at least. When we look back, we are so dumb that we will knowingly walk into our death. We don’t “fall” into sin, that phrase is complete BS. We know that it’s sin, we know what God has told us to do, but still we look back and we return to our sinful lives.
And this also reminds me of the song Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus
“Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.”
So my prayer still stands, “Lord, when there is temptation to sin, help me to run towards you, focusing all my energy on you, on things that are righteous, pure, lovely, admirable, and right, just like Paul tells us in Philippians. Then the temptation to sin will not seem so tempting, and everything else will grow dim in Your light. Amen.”
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